How Do You Know If Someone Is Experiencing Grief?

Grief is an emotional response to loss that impacts individuals differently. Grievers may or may not display obvious symptoms like sadness and despair; grief manifests differently for each person and could include feelings like numbness, confusion and even anger.

Recognizing the signs of grief requires both patience and empathy. Keep an eye out for changes in behavior or mood that signal grief - such as withdrawal from social activities, changes to sleep patterns or loss of interest in previously loved activities. Be wary that some individuals may try to hide their sorrow by appearing strong for others.

Supporting someone experiencing grief requires listening without judgment and offering comfort, encouraging open discussions about feelings may provide relief and understanding during this difficult period. If there are concerning signs or changes to their health such as terminal illness or hospice care situations, consider seeking professional grief counseling services as support options.

Navigating the complex waters of grief requires both compassion and patience as we attempt to provide meaningful support for those we care for in this difficult period of their life.

Signs of Grief

Sadness, depression, and/or crying more easily

This is likely the most obvious sign that someone is grieving.

Withdrawal / Going quiet

Has your friend or family member hidden themself away, not wanting to participate in any of the activities that used to bring them joy and pleasure? Do they not want to talk to anyone about anything? Have they stopped returning your calls, texts, and/or emails?

Changes in sleeping habits

Nighmares, trouble falling or staying asleep, or even sleeping much more than usual.

Loss of appetite / Changes in eating habits

Has your friend or family member stopped eating, or only eats a little bit? Are they skipping meals, or just pushing food around on their plate? Have they started drinking more?

Anxiety that wasn’t there before

Sometimes experiencing grief can lead to new fears and anxieties cropping up. Is your friend more afraid of or anxious about the topic of death? Are they afraid that bad things will happen to them? Are they afraid about their moral standing (or even the state of their passed loved one)?

Being more easily upset, irritated, or angered

If you notice your friend or family member getting more easily annoyed, triggered, or upset with you, don’t take it personally. Some people experience overwhelming emotions while they are grieving, and don’t have much room left for any extra emotional experiences in their day.

Avoidance

It’s one thing to not want to talk about their grief frequently, but if they don’t want to talk about their feelings or about the loved one who passed, they may be practicing avoidance. This may or may not be tied to the experience of denial as well.

Changes in habits / scheduling / interests

Has your friend or family member stopped going to a club or social event that they used to love? Are they no longer exercising or leaving the house? Do the things they used to love doing as hobbies no longer interest them?

How To Help Your Grieving Friend or Family Member

Trust their process and their timing

You may think that you are being a good support by trying to help your friend or family member “get over” their grief as quickly as possible. But it’s not usually healthy to force someone into talking about their pain or grief.

Instead, you need to allow them to take as long as they need to process their grief. They will get through it… it just takes different people different amounts of time, and everyone’s process is unique.

Make yourself available and trustworthy

Be “at the ready” for your friend or family member when they need you, and make sure they understand that you are a safe person to talk to. You won’t broadcast what they have shared with you in confidence, and you won’t judge their feelings or how they are trying to process. Make it clear that you support them and are available in whatever way they need you.

Check it on them regularly

As noted above in the symptoms of grief, some people tend to withdraw or significantly change their habits while grieving. Call, text, email, or even drop by their house occasionally. Don’t overdo it, but also don’t stop reaching out even if they consistently reject your offers to hang out. Sometimes just knowing that there is someone there for them- a person who won’t disappear due to a little adversity- is enough to encourage someone and give them the hope they need at that time.

Help them understand that you aren’t trying to “fix” or change them

Your goal should never be to “fix” someone or to dictate that they experience their grief in a certain way. Your job is to be that listening ear and open heart that they need. You can be their rock in this stormy time of their life. Do your best to let them know that you are there for support (and never judgement), 24/7.

Let them know there are grief support groups available

Coastal Home Health and Hospice hosts virtual Grief Support Groups on the first and third Thursday of the month. Anyone experiencing grief is welcome to attend. There may be similar groups in your area. Perhaps you can even offer to attend with your friend or family member.

Note: If you or a loved one is experiencing suicidal thoughts, please call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.