The holidays are known as “the most wonderful time of the year,” but if you are experiencing grief for a loved one who has passed on, they might not feel quite as wonderful.

It can be difficult to deal with the expectation that you are “supposed” to feel the famous holiday feelings of joy, love, and peace when instead you may feel sad, lonely, or even depressed.

Know that your feelings are completely normal. Grief is a process that can ebb and flow, and the people we have lost can never truly be replaced or forgotten. It is completely fine- 100% normal, even- to feel sad sometimes during times when significant events would have normally taken place with your loved one by your side.

Allow yourself to feel the emotion. Don’t get stuck there, but also don’t try to deny or suppress it.

If you start feeling too sad, try to focus on the good times you had and the memories you cherish of them. You will always have those memories, and you were lucky to have those times to share. You would want them to think the same way about you.

Don’t hesitate to reach out for love and support when you are feeling down. You don’t even have to say why you need the support if you don’t want to talk about it. People understand, and your loved ones will want to be there to support you.

Continuing with family traditions or even participating in cultural or religious ceremonies and/or rituals designed to commemorate or honor the dead can also help. These traditions and ceremonies keep us in the rhythm that is associated with the circle of life and can bring peace and stability when you feel chaotic and sad.

Remember that your time on earth is also finite. Don’t hold yourself back from loving deeply and living fully.

There will always be regrets in life. But rather than allowing yourself to get stuck in them, use them to inspire a better life. Don’t let them hold you back from actually living.

Finally, if you need support, ask. We have regular Grief Group meetings that you are welcome to participate in. If you’d like more information, click here or call the office at 541-469-0405.